Pepe the King Prawn – The Muppets

Not only one of the most debonair and attractive of all the Muppets, Pepe the King Prawn is also the only one of the group who is bilingual. Originally from Madrid, Spain, Pepe, whose was born Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales, moved to Hollywood to become the most famous prawn this side of the Atlantic. As part of the Muppets gang since 1996, Pepe has starred in a number of Muppets TV specials and movies, including the newest theatrical release, “The Muppets.” During an exclusive interview with me, Pepe talked about teaching Miss Piggy Spanish and what kind of women he’s looking to date.

How does it feel to be the only Spanish-speaking Muppet? Does it give you a sense of pride?

Si, I am very proud to be the first Spanish-speaking Muppet, okay.  But in truth, I only speak a little Spanish, okay. I can say “hola” and I can say “adios.” What more do you need? You see, my mama, she never taught me to speak Spanish. We were too busy dodging the fishing nets off Majorca.

Have you ever tried to teach any of the other Muppets Spanish? How did that go?

I don’t understand a thing any of the Muppets are saying, okay. They all speak with funny accents, except for the Swedish Chef. He makes sense to me, even though I have no idea what he is talking about. Once I tried to teach Miss Piggy to speak Spanish, but it sounded like Pig Latin to me. Unbelievable! But this is all okay, okay. You see when the Muppets go to other countries, we get dubbed. We talk and someone else’s voice comes out of our mouths. This is very strange, okay.

If it’s not too painful, please tell us what really happened between you and Seymour the Elephant?

You are a real fan, okay. Either this, or you really need to get some hobbies because you are spending way too much time thinking about the Muppets. Seymour, for those who aren’t as crazy as you, was my sidekick on a show we did called “Muppets Tonight!” We were hilarious, but then he decided to go solo. Last I heard he was a juggling gondolier in one of the Cirque du Soliel shows. I wonder if they’re hiring?

What did you think about Statler and Waldorf’s criticism of the group effort on “Dancing with the Stars” last week when you performed “Life’s a Happy Song?” How was your experience on the show?

These old guys, I like them. They say what everybody else is thinking, okay. When they make fun of the Muppets, is very funny. When they make fun of me, not so much. I had the great time on “Dancing with the Stars.” The show needs a good salsa dancer. As a King Prawn I was made for salsa. Next season, I think they will have me on as a celebrity contestant. You are important. Tell them to do this, okay?

Tell me the first thing that comes into your mind when I say the following word: Tapas.

Dios mio! Tapas is how I lost my cousin Victorio. He went too close to an all-you-can-eat Tapas seafood buffet. Is very sad. I need to compose myself. (Sobs) I’m fine. Next question, okay.

What kind of policies would you like to see implemented to fix our broken immigration system and do you think that can happen without offering a path to citizenship? Just kidding. Who does your hair?

Yes. I would. And no, I don’t.  Since I don’t understand your question, I thought I would return the favor with my answer. As for my hair, I do it myself. Can’t you tell?

You are a very attractive crustacean and I know you did very well with the ladies before you got engaged. Any advice for the single guys out there looking for their own Queen Prawn?

Hold on, engaged!?  Dios mio! Who says I am engaged, okay? I am not engaged! I am available! That is right, ladies, I, Pepe the King Prawn, am ready to party and make with the romance anytime day or night. Don’t believe what you have heard about me being engaged! Who makes up these rumors!? Unbelievable! Call now before all my available dates are taken. What kind of womens do I like? Well, I like my women the way I like my salsa, okay?  Hot, spicy and just a little chunky.