The Counselor

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz
Directed by: Ridley Scott (“Prometheus”)
Written by: Cormac McCarthy (debut)

He might be considered by many as one of the most talented living writers working today, but Cormac McCarthy’s transition from penning novels like “No Country for Old Men” and “The Road” to writing his first screenplay for “The Counselor” is not a smooth one to say the least. In fact, if you factor in McCarthy’s heavyweight status in the literary world along with the film’s star-studded cast and three-time Oscar nominated director Ridley Scott (“Black Hawk Down”) at the helm and “The Counselor” just might be the most surprising failure of the year.

Central to the story is actor Michael Fassbender (“Shame”) as the nameless title character, a lawyer who is in need of some fast cash and turns to the seedy drug cartels in Juarez, Mexico to help him out. When a drug run doesn’t go as planned, Mr. Lawyer must figure out how to fix the problem before the drug lords find him and toss his head into the Rio Grande.

As simple of a narrative as that sounds, McCarthy somehow turns the story into a complicated mess. Not only do scenes end awkwardly and feel disconnected from one another, the heavy-handed philosophical dialogue spoken by everyone involved makes for an exhausting experience. In one particular scene, Fassbender meets with an independent diamond seller to pick out a stone for his girlfriend Laura (Penelope Cruz). What should be a simple exchange between the men turns into a 10-minute sermon on the cut and clarity of precious gems. Yes, we know it’s a metaphor for something that happens later in the film, but McCarthy might as well have saved the scene and used it for a 2 a.m. infomercial.

Scott’s direction is fine and Fassbender and Brad Pitt, who we’re still not sure what his purpose in the film was, are serviceable, but they can only work with what McCarthy has given them. The same does not go for Cameron Diaz and Javier Bardem. As the two-headed snake in Fassbender’s drug-deal-gone-bad, their characters feel like underwritten parodies. Sure, their dialogue is just as terrible as the rest of the cast, but their goofy delivery makes McCarthy’s words even more meaningless.

Heavy on sexual escapades (the film opens with a long scene where Fassbender performs cunnilingus and continues with Diaz humping a car without panties) and light on style and vision, “The Counselor” proves that stars don’t always align even when things look impressive on paper.